by Derald Wing Sue, Sarah Alsaidi, Michael N. Awad, Elizabeth Glaeser, Cassandra Z. Calle, and Narolyn Mendez
Excerpt: Instantly stop or deflect the microaggression, force the perpetrator to immediately consider what they have just said. State “I don’t agree with what you said,” “That’s not how I view it,” or ask questions like, “Why do you say that?” Speak for yourself, not for the person who’s been targeted—talk about how it made you uncomfortable. “I feel X when you said Y because Z.” If someone calls you in for saying something racist, ableist, or ageist in this moment, be gracious. Resist the urge to be defensive. Apologize and thank the person for calling you in. Remember that what you said does not make you a bad person, but also that the person you’re talking to does not owe you anything for your apology and you should not expect anything in return. Take a moment to reflect on how you’d like to speak and act in the future.